Thursday, February 14, 2013

Cracow Germans

A very positive information about our Germans (living in Cracow):
The year 1285. To the Cracow inhabitants who kept the castel and did not allow any obstacles to twist their loyalty and faith for him, he (prince Leszek Czarny) gave many privileges and he fortified the city of Cracow with walls and towers and gave the Germans the authority over it (although many lords and knights were opposing it). Since then the prince Leszek Czarny loved and respected the Germans of Cracow so much that he followed their habits even in the hairdressing and clothes.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

For a mathematician

Ziemię pomierzył i głębokie morze
Wie jako wstają i zachodzą zorze
Wiatrom rozumie, praktykuje komu
A tego nie wie, że ma kurwę w domu

My translation:

He's measured the seas all to its depth
He knows auroras rises and sets
Knows about winds, teaches and alone
He does not know that he has a whore at home

The original was written by Jan Kochanowski, about XVI century. The word "kurwa" (whore) is one of the most rude Polish words in contemporary Polish, previously it might be more neutral.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Three reasons

Year 1290. ... When the pious nuns from her (St. Kinga) closter were asking her why she woud not have allowed to resurrect the cadaver of her nephew, the prince Andrew, many times she did not respond, and finally, when they were insisting, she answered that there were three reasons miraculously revealed to her by the Heaven, why he would not be resurrected. The first one, that the death was his salvation, since he did not  commit any mortal sin, and if he had been resurrected, the Heaven forsaw he would have commited many crimes. The second one, that because of him much Christian blood would have been spilled. The third one that his resurrection would become famous among the Polish and Hungarian nations, which would cover her former merits.

Didn't I tell you the lady was smart? Three reasons why a dead guy would not resurrect!

Monday, February 11, 2013

St. Kinga

He (Bolesław the Shy) married Kinga of chaste and good habits, a beautiful virgin, already then (1239) known for her pious life, that demonstrated her merits already among the child's toys. As soon as she was born in the year 1204 she began her life not like other children with groaning and whining, but with the Angel's Welcome, since she said loudly and with clear voice in Hungarian "welcome the Queen of Heaven". Apart from that on Wednesdays and Fridays she sucked the maternal breast only once a day, following the pattern of the St. Nicolas the bishop.(...)

The poor guy Boleslaw the Shy married this lady and she convinced him not to consummate their marriage (remember, sex is bad!). She was quite smart, though. I will tell you another story about her, some other time.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Pampered Germans

The year 1158. ... There was one more calamity by the ceasar's military, since the Germans pampered with the comforts of life, used to wine or beer brewed of barley not used by the Poles, due to their lack drinking water without limits, got bloody dysentery, and this disease was so often in their camp that it destroyed most of their army...

I love this piece: the Germans pampered with the comforts of life ;))))

Mein Deutsch ist leider nicht gut genug um das alles ins Deutsch zu uebersetzen ;))

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Прощание славянки

There is a Polish song that is actually taken from Russia, it's original name is "прощание славянки" (Farewell to a Slavic girl).

The Polish version is slightly slower. Its title is "Rozszumiały się wierzby płaczące".

Friday, February 8, 2013

Sex is bad

Year 1197. Peter the cardinal, diacon of St. Mary title, commonly called Capuan assigned by the Pope Celestyn III to be a legat for the reform and restoration of the Polish Church arrived to Poland, and when he was to enter Cracow, Pelka the bishop of Cracow and clergy of all churches came to meet him in a procession and were acquiring him with great honors. He hold the first convention in Cracow and a second one in Lubcza, then visiting the dioecesias of Gnesno, Vroclav, Plock, Poznan, Vloclavek, Chelm and Lubusza he concentrated first of all on that that the (Catholic) priests dismissed all ladies and mistresses and have pure and temperate lives as an example and pattern for the non-clergy, since many priests at that time had contacts with women as lawfully allowed. So the cardinal with great care tried to eliminate this bad habit from the Polish Church, forbidding the priests under most severe penalties to marry wives and to keep them. To the non-clergy men, even the most significant ones, he obligated them to get married in Church. (...)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

bishop Matheus' treasure

The year 1166. The bishop Matheus, devoted to the revels and wassails, was visited by the deputies of the Polish prince Boleslaw, requesting from him money in the name of the monarch. He took his housholders and brought them to the toilet so that they look for his treasures there. "Here are my treasures" - he said, letting them know that all his bishopric incomes have been passed through his throat and stomach and it was useless to request money from him.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

No beer no democracy

There is an anecdote about one of our rulers, Leszek the White. The Pope wanted him to participate in a peace keeping mission in the Middle East (i.e. a crusade). Leszek told him that unfortunately we couldn't participate and bring democracy there, since there was no beer or mead in the Middle East, so the peace keeping troops would not have the drinks they got used to. I did not invent this story, you can find it even on Wikipedia ;)))

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


There is a legend that the city of Cracow has been founded by Cracus (Krak or Krakus). I found a book stating that his original name was Latin Grak or Grachus, who "lived at the Vistula river under the Panonnia mountains":

Please note, however, that this book cannot be trusted (I found quite fantastic theories there, for example unificating the Vandals with the Slavs). Another interesting thing was that the Latin term Bohemia comes from the Slavic word "Boh" meaning God. In the contemporary Polish this word is Bóg (phon. boog).

Monday, February 4, 2013

No beer for archbishop

A funny story from the 1303:
Conrad, prince of Cieniawa, due to the body lameness called "humpback", son of Conrad from Glogov, rector of Vroclav has been elected in unison to the Salzburg archbishopric. He went there to take his place accompanied by the magnificent pralats and lords. However, when he arrived to Vienna he found out that in Salzburg there was no beer brewed of wheat, that he got used to since his childhood, and they were drinking only wine. Therefore he gave the archbishopric up and from Vienna came back to Poland, to the Cieniawskie county, that was in the meantime taken by his brother Henryk. And since he wanted to get the county back with sword he was captured by the prince Henryk and conducted to Glogov. He was there imprisoned in a tower, from where his subjects and knights, the noblemen from Rudna and Lubin liberated him at night, but he died in the 11th October next year and was buried in the Lubin closter.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

My name is Vasa. John Casimir Vasa.

My name is Bond. James Bond. I wanted to write about one of our kings, John Casimir Vasa. A king-spy. He was supposed to become the admiral of the Spanish fleet and viceroy of Portugal. He was arrested by cardinal Richelieu under the charge of espionage for Spain, was imprisoned in France... Later he became a Jesuit, then a cardinal and finally the Polish king. I do not like him for his strong relationships with von Habsburgs. But I must admit, he had an incredible life.

During his reign there was an anti-Polish Khmelnitsky Uprising and we lost Ukraine then. But I must say that the Cossacks did send their representatives to the election in the 1632 and were simply ignored. We failed to give them equal rights with the Polish and Lithianian nation, which I regret a lot.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Belorussian dance

I wanted to show you a picture from my book about various national dances in the Soviet Union. This one represents Belarus:

In the book there is the following statement:
Балет "Князь Озеро", музыка В. Золотарева - полесская легенда о борбе народа с польско-литовскими феодалами - удостоен в 1950 году Сталинской премии.

Which means:
The ballet "Prince Lake", musics by V. Zolotarev - a legend about the fight of the (Belarussian) nation with the Polish-Lithuanian feudals - was given a Stalin premium in 1950.

Well, this is unfortunately true. They (the Ruthenians) were conquered by Lithuania, about 80% of the people spoke Ruthenian there (in Lithuania). But the situation was not so bad, at least concerning the religion. The Orthodox religion was tolerated until under Sigismund the IIIrd influenced by the Jesuits the infamous Union of Brest was declared in the 1596. Then the trouble began. This Union was in fact delegalizing the Orthodox hierarchy.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Warsaw Confederation

440 years ago, in the 28th January 1573 in Poland a so called Warsaw Confederation was hold. It was an official declaration of religious freedom. Below is my translation of a piece of it:

And since in the Republic our there is a discord concerning the Christian religion, preventing a malevolent disagreement that could occur for this reason that we can see in other kingdoms, we are promising this mutually for us and our descendants for eternal time as an oath with faith and our conscious, that those of us being dissidentes de religione will keep peace among ourselves and for different faiths and difference in the churches not to spill the blood and not to punish anybody with confiscation of goods, infamy, prison and banishment and in that matter not to help to any authority to do this.

At the map you can see the religions at that time, Catholics (white), Orthodox (green), Calvinist (purple) and Luteran (blue). There were also Jews and Tatars.

Only one Catholic bishop dared to sign the act of the Confederation. His name was Wawrzyniec Goślicki. He did it against the will of the Pope and was excommunicated for that. Respect!